Fast and feast

One of the things I love about this country is the All day breakfast joints. Remain hungry till afternoon and headout to one of those places to feast on eggs, bacon, sausages, pan cakes, waffles etc.. Its sort of become my routine since the past 2.5 years or so I have been here - I call it the fast and feast routine..

Today I went out for brunch with a friend who is basically from Palestine. He recently got engaged to his Canadian girlfriend and has been apparently getting some fire from his parents for getting engaged to a non Muslim. The guy is pretty confident of getting through this phase, and I am pretty sure he will get through it. After all they look so perfect together, nobody can deny that for a long time.

I have had multiple friends who faced similar situations. The latest was a friend from Kerala. He had met this girl from North India, and had decided to spend his life with her. Sounds simple - guy meets girl, gets convinced she's the one, gets married, lives happily ever after.. But not so simple when you bring community and tradition into the picture. He is from the South, speaks Malayalam, eats Southern cousine, born into a Brahmin family (Brahmins are supposedly the uppermost caste in Hinduism, traditionally the ones who are authorized to become priests). The girl is from the North, speaks Hindi, digs Northern food and born into a different caste which is supposedly lower than Brahmins; not that it mattered to him or any of his friends. His parents although were willing to accept, were worried that he might become a loner in their community, it took a lot of persuasion to make up their mind. They got married about 5 months back and the last I heard everyone is happy. Afterall, Hinduism does say that life originated from the sound "Om" and Brahma is the creator of all things.. So why should caste really matter?

I can't help but to remember my most controversial involvement in a similar situation. Back at the University, I had a lot of friends, but I was in particular close to 4 of my friends, just because we stayed pretty close to each other. A guy from my course, and 2 guys and a girl doing their MBA. We used to hangout all the time, it was quite a contradicting group when it came to personal beliefs - 2 of the guys including the guy from my course were Pentecostal christians (if you haven't seen a Pentecostal Christian try talking to one of them, they almost had a fire in their belly when it comes to their beliefs, another guy a strong Catholic, the girl born to Christian-Hindu parents had been raised a Hindu and me the ex-communist turned practicalist, still confused about spiritual beliefs.. Though I did not agree to a lot of things they did or said, I was quite impressed with their passion; this ultimately led me to studying the bible and participating in a lot of those all congregation discussions.. That was also the beginning of my general interest in studying about religion - I ended up reading a lot on other religions like Hinduism, Islam, Sikhism, Buddhism etc.. etc..

K. enough.. I am starting to sound like a theologist.. let me get back to what I was talking about.. Towards the end of the first year, she accepted Christianity and started going to the Pentecostal church and started hanging out a lot more with the guy from my course. We all knew something was happening, but didn't know for sure. A lot of things happened which I don't want to share, but they had this strong feelings for each other and felt what they thought as a soul level connection. Thinking back I'd have to agree, they looked so wonderful together and by that I just don't mean physically, they were emotionally compatible, shared similar interests, shared the same passion. Its a weird situation sometimes when friends fall in love, to add to that she was actually about a year elder than him. I guess that was pretty tough on them. Having such a feeling for one of your best friends, knowing the family differences - his father being a pastor and her father being a business man - diverse backgrounds and the perceived restriction that a man has to be elder than his woman. They went through a lot of pain before admitting their feelings to each other. I was probably the first one they broke this news to. The months followed were very dramatic, but somehow I had this conviction that they were meant to be together.. I was the Best Man at their wedding. They have a 3 year old son today. They still have their parents, their siblings and all their loved ones - very much a family..

Since my brunch meeting, I have been thinking about them; haven't really seen them in the past 4.5 years. May be, it is time to catch up, it is time to meet their son; after all, I did/still do care for them and they did care for me. And I have always been proud of them for following their convictions..